Public Access 
 

      Since the invention of the television there have been otherwise normal people grandstanding before the cameras. Case in point the Darien city council, the county commissioners and the school board

      Once the local cable channel started broadcasting the meetings everyone  took on a different attitude. Now this is a good thing because before the broadcast they were a bit boring, but now everybody seems to have a lot more to say.

      The Mayor calls the meeting to order and some say the pledge of allegiance, and some show up a little late so they wont have to. But that’s cool because in the good ole US of A we don’t care if you do or not.

      In countries like Russia or Iran and even Ipukeia, if one failed to do so, he or she would be taken out back and slapped with a wet squirrel until they learned how to act.

      The open meeting has brought out the passion of the citizens, thanks in part to the soapbox. People love to express their opinion on what’s right but even more so, what’s wrong with the current situation no matter what the situation is.

      One recent situation is the planned development of what used to be ‘the west side.’ Now the west side contains some pristine land that might have some people buried on it. No graves have been found yet but it has been said that the bodies are there never the less.

      Well if one were to look back far enough in time there isn’t a spot in all of Flounder Creek that doesn’t have a body or two buried on it. My theory is let’s go ahead and develop everything and instead of calling them condominiums, we’ll call them shrines. Put a plaque in front of every address and proclaim that, “on this spot lies a wonderful human being who was a loving father or mother. He or she left behind a legacy that will be remembered for thousands of years to come.” That way instead of laying in an un-marked grave he will be enshrined forever with a grave marker that cost 20 million dollars and has a grand waterfront view. 

      Every citizen in the Flounder Creek area is not as much worried about the civility of disturbing the dead but rather disturbing the tax digest. With the building of Mulletopia, the next door neighbors trailer decal would perhaps skyrocket to an astounding amount. It would be like Donald Trump moving next door to Pernell DuPree. Oh it would be a problem of gigantic proportions. “Hey you with the horrible hair! Don’t be putting no fence up. That’s where I park my Caprice.”

      Next on the agenda, is the planned ‘park’ where people can go ride their four wheelers. Well Mr. Commissioner  in case you haven’t noticed we already have one of those. It’s called the shoulder of the road and it encompasses all of the county. There is not a road in the entire county that doesn’t have a trail of tracks running parallel to it. Let’s take some of the ‘park’ money and finish the Belleville boat ramp project. If I were a betting man I would venture to say that 90% of boat ramp users pay a tax of some sort. Crabbers, castnetters,  fishermen, and boaters in general  all need to have access to the river to sustain a livelihood. Four wheelers on the other hand have the side of every road in Flounder Creek. Eulonia needs another park like a fish needs a briefcase.

      Don’t get me started of those dreaded golf carts. Now we are contacting the Department of Transportation to change the speed limits to accommodate the dastardly demons. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. There is nothing more sinister than a gang of golf carters terrorizing a neighborhood. Beware citizens!!! Hell’s Yuppies are coming to a street near you.....